Wednesday, November 14, 2007

M is for...


My mom is dying. Millions of moms have died throughout the centuries, but that's different; they weren't MY mom. Her battle with cancer is coming to an end. It's been a year and a half of her fighting for her life. Never have I known anyone that had such a resolve to live. But she fought as long and as hard as she could. There are so many thoughts I could write out about dealing with her mortality. Pictures from our family album come to mind, pictures of her at Christmas, with her family, as a teenager, even as a baby. Thoughts of the past make me emotional when I compare that vibrant woman to the one who is lying in a hospital bed graciously waiting to go be with Jesus. Thoughts of the future also get to me. Thanksgiving, Christmas... she won't be there, and I'm talking THIS Thanksgiving and Christmas. Amidst the sorrow of this season of life, my soul is at peace. She is ready to go, She is fearless in the face of death, for she knows her destination when she goes. She has always been a strong woman, and even while losing the fight against cancer, she is mom strong. I went to see her in the ICU ward. She didn't know I was coming. As soon as she saw me, she lifted her arms out from under the covers, tubes coming out from each limb, and she reached out to hug me. Mom 'till the end. I just cried. She said it would be okay. I know that. I'm not scared. I'm not angry at God, I totally trust Him with my mom, it's just emotional. She told me to tell my kids that she loved them very much and that she was sad that she wasn't going to be able to see them grow up. As I sobbed, I assured her they would know for the rest of their lives how much their Nanny loved them. So we're waiting. Mom said she didn't know what was taking God so long to take her, and that is hard because she is suffering, but I have to trust His higher ways. There is purpose for her life up to the very end. I told Mom I would miss her. No one prepares you to say that to your parent when you're facing losing them. She's only 67, but disease is no respector of persons. I am thankful for those 67 years. I am thankful for the faith she taught me to have in my God even when my heart is breaking. She's been saying ever since she knew she was done, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. I'm thrilled for her, bummed for me and my kids. "Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of the saints." Shirley Ann Couch, about to be more precious than ever.

21 comments:

Huffman Clan said...

Shane, My heart is breaking for you. Your love for your mother and the wonderful woman that she is just leaps from the words that you write. Your life, your triumphs, your sacrifices and your blessings are a tribute to her legacy. I weep for the hours to come that will be over so quickly for you, but for her are literally her steps to an eternity. Soon she will know even as she is fully known. You are in my prayers this thanksgiving season. Joy

scott aughtmon said...

Shane,

I'm so sorry to hear this!

My Dad died of lung cancer back in '89. He wasn't a believer (as far as I know - unless he changed in his last moments).

I'm glad that for you and your Mom she IS a believer.

But cancer still sucks.
It's still a horrible disease.

I'll be praying for you and your Mom during this time. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We will be praying for you all.

Shawn Bender said...

Shane,

It's hard to hear that your mom has finally gone to be with the Lord. She has been such a large part of your, and your family's life that I know this will be a tough period for all of you guys. You are in our prayers and we are standing by if you need anything at all.
I know that as time passes and the sadness of death turns to a fondness of memory, the wonderful memories you continue to share about your mom and your past will be such a delight to everyone listening. She was a joy to be around and did a great job raising you, bro. Praise God for her, and for you.

susanna said...

Shane,
We are crying with you. Moms are precious. We are praying for you and your sweet family.
Sue

Frazzmom said...

Shane, Marty and family-

We will be keeping you all in our hearts and prayers as you mourn the loss of your mom and celebrate her homecoming with Jesus as well...

All our love,
Jim, LeeAnn, Joshua, Jordan, and Jonathan

June Wright said...

Dear Shane and Marti,

I don't understand why so many people have to fight this battle. I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I hear the word "cancer". I want you to know how very, very sorry I am. Sorry for what your mom hadf to go through and sorry for what you and your family are going through. I am crying with you.

Yake care of your own health as I am trying to do to lessen the chances of your family having to do it again. See a doctor whenever you suspect ANYTHING!

June Wright

Shane said...

Pastor Shane,

I sit here in tears as I pray for you and your family. I don't know how to articulate what I'm feeling for you I just want you to know that when I say that I've been praying I truly mean it. Your mom created a legacy in raising you and I am forever indebted to her dilligence and Godliness in being a mom. You are forever my spiritual father, so in a way she was my "Spiritual Nanny." You will always be a part of my life. I love you Pastor Shane.

Always,
Shane Hammond

Ronda said...

Shane, Marty & family,
Your post about your mom brought tears to my eyes. It is difficult to hear that she has passed. She is without pain and at peace. May you find comfort in your memories. You'll be in our prayers.
Ronda & Bob Hoxsie

Shelly said...

Pastor Shane, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know this is a hard time for you, but I know the Lord will provide you with so much joy and peace in the midst of your suffering that people are going to look and you and give glory to God. I pray for your family and I am so thankful that your Mom was such an amazing witness to you all.
We love you Shane, Marty and children. Shelly, Ryan, Shawn and Karilyn Patania

Don Huffman said...

Our prayers are with you during this time of tears (sorrow and sometimes joy), I also lost my beloved mom rather young at 61, but I remembered the morning will come (and it did)...
Ps 30:5b
weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning
Ps 59:16 But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble
love,
brother don and sister marie huffman

Holly said...

Pastor Shane, My heart breaks as you mourn the loss of your mom but I am thankful for the mom that she was to you and what she has left you. Your words spoke truth and an unspeakable amount of love for her, that in itself tells so much about the woman of God and mom she was to you. I am thankful for you and Marty that you are giving to your kids what your mom gave to you. You and your family will be in our prayers. You all are loved!

By His Grace,
Holly and Jessica

lorig said...

Shane, Marty and family,

My heart goes out to your family in this time of loss. Your mother was an amazing mother to have produced such an amazing son. Her legacy will live on through you. God Bless you all.

Lori Gager

Marie-France said...

Shane
I am so, so, sorry!
Clint and I will be praying
for peace for you and the family.
Love
MF

Marie-France said...

Shane
So sorry to hear about your loss.
We are praying for you and the family!
Love
MF and clint

Thomas Hammond said...

Pastor Shane, I love you! I'll be here through it all. Anything you need, i'm here for you. I know nothing of what you're going through, but I do know you. You're strong and Godly. I'm encouraged by your faith and I know you will make it through. I'm sorry for your loss. With all my prayers and love.

Thomas Hammond

Alapati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alapati said...

Shane,
Sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like your mom left you with some very sweet memories. It encourages me to know that you rest assured in the HOPE that is waiting for her. Shane, know that I am praying for you and your family during this tough time.
Albert

Elisabeth Cammell said...

Dear Shane,

As my Shane read your post last night we cried together, wishing we could be there with you. We've been praying for you and won't stop, though we share your joy at your mom's release and total healing. It's hard to believe it's been a year since Grandma died, and even though she lived a long life and is with Jesus (for which I'm thankful) I still miss her. I know you'll be missing your mom for a long time, and heaven will be that much sweeter when you get there:) We love you and your precious family, and pray God's sustaining comfort throughout this holiday season and beyond.

Elis and Shane

robinz said...

Shane,

This Thursday, I will have lost my dad for 1 year, and I know the pain and sorrow you are experiencing. I cry for you, but also know how vibrant and wonderful your mom was and now is in the presence of her Lord. Thank God for her fabulous sense on humor, her ability to battle through tough times, her compassion and love for her family. I saw all that in her, and though I knew her a little, I felt like I knew her a lot. I will really miss her and always felt like I had a special girlfriend when she came to services to proudly see her son preach the service. She was special, and still is special in the lives of her friends and family. I smile inside every time I think of her! I wonder if heaven has garage sales....

deezmath said...

Shane, I just read your blog for the first time and read about the bittersweet news and cried for you. Yesterday's Daily Bread talked about how "grief is messy" which is a quote from the movie We are Marshall, but that as believers, we don't "sorrow as others who have no hope" 1 Thess 4:13. Praise Him that we have the joy of our salvation to know where our eternity lies.

I remember your mom as being really spunky (huh, who does that sound like?) and funny and that when you looked at her, your eyes would shine w/ love and pride.

My prayers are with you, Marty and your beautiful babies during this time of earthly loss. God Bless.
Deez